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The Kill​-​Switch Fails

by randomk/automata

/
1.
You and I were walking And the sun was somewhere else On our heels were dogs a plenty And the sun was somewhere else She and he were fighting And the rain was everywhere In their eyes the rain clouds gathered And the rain was everywhere Each step we took was measured In bones and time and blood The words were primed and ready But they did not do no good The visions that we buried The promises we made Each step we took a terror In light in dark in shade They and them were equal In all but every way This and that and never In all but every way Stars and Stripes and Satchels Broken by the doubt In and out of social Broken by the doubt
2.
Just a little child With a spider in her hand With a head full of dreams And a heart full of sand And her teeth were white And her skin was clear And she sat there on the floor And she knew no fear And her eyes were blue And her hair was wild With a spider in her hand She smiled and smiled The space between. The means of escape. The absence of doubt. A violent mistake. And her eyes were wild And her hair was red Monsters in her closet And under her bed And her nails were sharp And her dress was green All her happy thoughts Were few and far between And all her friends Couldn't understand Why she sat there on the floor With a spider in her hand And her nails were long And her dress was frayed With a spider in her hand She was undismayed And her teeth were sharp And her skin was fair With a spider in her hand She knelt at prayer With a head full of dreams And a heart full of sand She was just a little child With a spider in her hand
3.
There’s a cloud In the sky Makes its way to You and I Are not dressed For the weather Set to come Something breaks In the hardware discontinued Parts unknown Shoes don’t fit walking hard Frayed the nerves Where is my rain jacket when it rains my promises My aches and pains I don’t need them anymore My skies are dry as bone Something rips In my shirt It can’t hold so much as dirt Or the words I discard From my tongue Lost the signs From my map It’s late I need a nap One eye open One door closes All the time
4.
This train of thought, unbounded by its rails, A comet's course, relentless, through the night The passing landscape blurs, the kill-switch fails Now nothing can arrest our reckless flight A hundred miles an hour, we're on our way No chance to stop at stations in between We strive to find some purpose in each day And when we sleep, dream someone else's dream But see the city in the wintertime The streets forlorn, the river dark and wide The churches empty, no more steps to climb All battles lost, all victories denied For those who wish to prove they're still alive The train is leaving at four forty-five.
5.
Lay the pieces on the ground Remember how they fit A photograph that I have seen Covered both your eyes Hands that move like acrobats A kiss that never dies Building up, grinding down The cycle starts again Bleeding hearts and broken crowns Again, again, again Lay the pieces on the ground Remember how they fit Dulcimers and hammered words Notes and melodies Lies that sing like nightingales With perfect harmonies losing you was easy
6.
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground. So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind: Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned. Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you. Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust. A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew, A formula, a phrase remains, — but the best is lost. The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,— They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve. More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world. Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
7.
You might think or you might not Whichever is the case A brighter spark is what you’ve got It occupies your space It occupies your space All the drills and circumstance Aimed squarely at our heads All the unwatched fingers Settled in, loosened all the threads Settled in, all From that moment It was From that moment It was From that moment It was
8.
At the stroke of twelve By the pale moonlight He walked down the hall His fists clenched tight He dressed like a preacher But he was not a man of faith And many a one had fled in fear From his nightmare embrace. He had an air about him That was just plain wrong He looked like he'd stepped out Of a Nick Cave song. He had a look in his eyes That was just plain odd In his weathered hands, A bag full of God. In that time of darkness In that era of disgrace It took a brave or a foolish man To look him in the face. Life's kaleidoscope was turning The colours washed away He watched them with his broken eyes At the dawning of the day. And every night, down on his knees He reached into that bag Took out his God and polished it With an oily cotton rag And now he's leaving To head for higher ground And stand upon a burning hill With ashes all around. He walks for miles and miles Across the desert sands With a bag full of God In his sunburnt hands.
9.
The Obsolete 04:03
As far as I can see A test of patience As long as sinews last The click, the drone, repeat As long as time is taught The measurements can change Mix future, present, past Locate, erase, delete Fortunately I wake up Greet the sun again The wind is still upon my face Some clouds, a chance of rain Walk the city streets today A nod to those I meet Push the boundary one more day We are the obsolete As all the chairs are gone The game seems changed The knees go next, the nerve The legs, the arms, the seat As moments start to merge The borderlines are lost The queue, the gate, the pit Denied, accept, defeat Fortunately I wake up Greet the sun again The wind is still upon my face Some clouds, a chance of rain Walk the city streets today A nod to those I meet Push the boundary one more day We are the obsolete
10.
Recuerdo 04:58
We were very tired, we were very merry— We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry. It was bare and bright, and smelled like a stable— But we looked into a fire, we leaned across a table, We lay on a hill-top underneath the moon; And the whistles kept blowing, and the dawn came soon. We were very tired, we were very merry— We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry; And you ate an apple, and I ate a pear, From a dozen of each we had bought somewhere; And the sky went wan, and the wind came cold, And the sun rose dripping, a bucketful of gold. We were very tired, we were very merry, We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry. We hailed, “Good morrow, mother!” to a shawl-covered head, And bought a morning paper, which neither of us read; And she wept, “God bless you!” for the apples and pears, And we gave her all our money but our subway fares.
11.
Somewhere in the line Hidden in the pack Gems among the grime Odds all neatly stack Somewhere in the dark Corners, skirting, boards Machines are in the park Exchanging minor chords Landlines, paper, scissors, stones Untracked choices, pencils, phones Words that disappeared with time And everything will turn out fine Somewhere out of view Just beyond the gate A ghost that sounds like you Arrives but still too late Somewhere in the germs Everything we had Lost in legal terms Good money after bad Landlines, paper, scissors, stones Untracked choices, pencils, phones Words that disappeared with time And everything will turn out fine

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All words and music by randomk/automata except:

Dirge Without Music & Recuerdo -
Words by Edna St. Vincent Millay
Music by randomk/automata

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released November 5, 2023

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Mark Automaton UK

Mark Automaton came to prominence as a founding member of the seminal “cassette culture” band the Instant Automatons, who were instrumental in spearheading the UK DIY music scene of the late 70s and early 80s.
Since then, Mark has been active as a producer, musical collaborator and solo artist, releasing music under his own name and also as 391 and randomk/automata.
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